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Tko je bahati gad, arogantan i vječni podcjenjivač, a tko opsesivno-kompulzivni ...

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Nepročitano 16-05-10, 07:23   #1
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Very angry Anti horoskop

Tko je bahati gad, arogantan i vječni podcjenjivač, a tko opsesivno-kompulzivni neurotik? U ovome ćete horoskopu saznati kakvi ste zaista....



Ovan - bahati gadovi, uvijek moraju biti šefovi i glavni u svemu.
Uzrok je, vjerojatno, mali penis ili minijaturne sise. Bolesni
posesivci koji bi partneru oduzeli potpunu slobodu, a sebi dozvolili harem ljubavnica. Uglavnom zapinju za neosvojive tvrđave i ne poznaju gubitak dok se kompletno psihički ne unište. Vrlo nesređeni u mozgu, skaču na sve i svašta i to mora biti odmah, ne poznaju taktiku, a razboli ih čekanje.
Istaknuti Ovan: Adolf Hitler


Bik – samozadovoljne, šutljive seronje, dosadni k'o klub filatelista.
Sve im je super i nemojte ih mučiti sa svojim problemima jer oni ih nemaju.
Istaknuti Bikovi: Josip Broz Tito, Franjo Tuđman i Sadam
Hussein.



Blizanci - glavni ogovarači i tračibabe, izdajice i prevrtljivci s dvostrukim mjerilima koja se mijenjaju svakih 10-15 minuta. Valjda je i sam Juda bio Blizanac.
Istaknuti Blizanac: Ivo Sanader.


Rak - posesivni luđaci, uvrijede se ako im 'dobro jutro' niste zaželjeli u pravilnoj intonaciji, mijenjaju raspoloženje kako im padne na pamet.
Istaknuti Rak: George Bush.



Lav - arogantni, vječni podcjenjivači, puni velikih planova za sve koji na kraju koriste samo njima (kao da ih je i briga za druge).
Istaknuti Lav: Slobodan Milošević.



Djevica - opsesivno-kompulzivni neurotici koji se stresa oslobađaju čisteći stan, slažući robu i kineski porculan - prezahtjevne cjepidlake kojima ni previše nije dovoljno. One ne poznaju ljubav, bez emocija su, kod njih se sve svodi na seks. Ako je koji znak prostitutka to je ovaj.
Istaknuta Djevica: Michael Jackson.



Vaga - narcisoidni shizofrenici, ogledalo im je najbolji prijatelj,
treba im tjedan dana da se odluče hoće li naručiti Coca-Colu ili
Pepsi, toliko su lijeni da je pravo čudo kako uopće ustaju iz kreveta. One znaju voljeti samo ako ste financijski ili položajno istaknuti.
Riječ prijatelj ne postoji, koliko god im se otvorite, nećete dobiti
ni približno jednako jer one samo pažljivo slušaju vas a svoje karte ne otvaraju. Draže su im 1000 lijepih laži, nego jedna bolna istina, zato su najuspješniji u laganju čak i sebe.
Istaknuta Vaga: Vladimir Putin.



Škorpion - samosažaljevajući autodestruktivci koji svoj čemer ne mogu podnijeti sami, pa moraju povući još 100 ljudi za sobom. Da je sutra kraj svijeta, oni se ne bi šokirali, vjerojatno bi ga dočekali sudjelujući u sado-mazo orgijama. Smrt im nije ništa strašno, a pale se na krv i sve ono što običnom smrtniku izaziva jezu. Prati ih obilježje ljubomorno posesivnih psihopata.
Istaknuti Škorpion: Toni Eterović.



Strijelac - raspikuće i kockari, uživaju soliti pamet, a entuzijazam im je toliki da je i oživjeti mrtve sasvim moguće - naravno, samo ako oni to rade. Užasavaju se priznati da znaju za osjećaj tuge. Ne ulazite u brak sa Strijelcem ni slučajno jer kada je uvjeren da vas voli, to će ga proći za mjesec dana.
Istaknuti Strijelac: Staljin.



Jarac - pravi pravcati gonići robova, vjeruju u sudbinu do zadnjeg slova, riječ 'oprosti' ne postoji u njihovu rječniku. Možete živjeti pored njih cijeli život, biti u braku, a nikada ne saznati što vam imaju za reći. Osjećaje ne znaju iskazati riječima, pa te umjesto volim te, često dočeka ajde u kurac. Prodali bi guzicu za društveni status.
Istaknuti Jarac: Stipe Mesić.



Vodenjak - vulgarni i nepristojni perverznjaci, vječita zabadala u privatni život drugih. Vjerojatno vas ne iznenađuje činjenica da je, prema statistici, najviše CIA-inih špijuna upravo u znaku Vodenjaka.
Istaknuti Vodenjak: Carla Del Ponte.



Ribe - samosažljevajući dosadnjakovići, čekaju da netko dođe i utješi ih, ne mogu se ni popišati bez tuđe pomoći, i najmanju sitnicu vide kao vrhunsku senzaciju pa gnjave ljude okolo. U pauzi, kad su dobre volje, bave se tuđim problemima, pa opet padnu u depresiju - i tako ukrug.
Istaknuta Riba: Osama Bin Laden.




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ram (16-05-10), sunčica (16-05-10)

Nepročitano 16-05-10, 08:58   #2
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Zadani

[quote=fantazy;42409]
Škorpion - samosažaljevajući autodestruktivci koji svoj čemer ne mogu podnijeti sami, pa moraju povući još 100 ljudi za sobom.

Da je sutra kraj svijeta, oni se ne bi šokirali, vjerojatno bi ga dočekali sudjelujući u sado-mazo orgijama. Smrt im nije ništa strašno, a pale se na krv i sve ono što običnom smrtniku izaziva jezu.
Prati ih obilježje ljubomorno posesivnih psihopata.
Istaknuti Škorpion: Toni Eterović.



Strijelac - [COLOR="rgb(255, 0, 255)"][b]raspikuće i kockari, uživaju soliti pamet, a entuzijazam im je toliki da je i oživjeti mrtve sasvim moguće - naravno, samo ako oni to rade.

Užasavaju se priznati da znaju za osjećaj tuge. Ne ulazite u brak sa Strijelcem ni slučajno jer kada je uvjeren da vas voli, to će ga proći za mjesec dana.

Istaknuti Strijelac: Staljin.



Jarac - pravi pravcati gonići robova, vjeruju u sudbinu do zadnjeg slova, riječ 'oprosti' ne postoji u njihovu rječniku. Možete živjeti pored njih cijeli život, biti u braku, a nikada ne saznati što vam imaju za reći.

Osjećaje ne znaju iskazati riječima, pa te umjesto volim te, često dočeka ajde u kurac. Prodali bi guzicu za društveni status.
Istaknuti Jarac: Stipe Mesić.


TRAŽIM LJUDE, ŠTO VIŠE LJUDI,
KOJI IMAJU NEOGRANIČENU SPOSOBNOST UVJERENJA
DA NE POSTOJI NEŠTO ŠTO JE NEMOGUĆE UČINITI
(H. FORD).
pridruži nam se u bblj



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Nepročitano 16-05-10, 09:02   #3
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Zadani

Citat:
Originally Posted by fantazy Pogledaj Post
Vaga - narcisoidni shizofrenici, ogledalo im je najbolji prijatelj,
treba im tjedan dana da se odluče hoće li naručiti Coca-Colu ili
Pepsi, toliko su lijeni da je pravo čudo kako uopće ustaju iz kreveta. One znaju voljeti samo ako ste financijski ili položajno istaknuti.
Riječ prijatelj ne postoji, koliko god im se otvorite, nećete dobiti
ni približno jednako jer one samo pažljivo slušaju vas a svoje karte ne otvaraju. Draže su im 1000 lijepih laži, nego jedna bolna istina, zato su najuspješniji u laganju čak i sebe.
Istaknuta Vaga: Vladimir Putin.
Ulažem prigovor, Fantazy me vređa!


Gledaj dalje nego što vidiš.



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Nepročitano 16-05-10, 09:05   #4
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Citat:
Originally Posted by sunčica Pogledaj Post
Ulažem prigovor, Fantazy me vređa!




Šta misliš kako je meni bilo jadnoj kad sam pročitala takvu brutalnu istinu o sebi da se ne znam sama ni popišati




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Nepročitano 16-05-10, 09:13   #5
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Citat:
Originally Posted by sunčica Pogledaj Post
Ulažem prigovor, Fantazy me vređa!

Ne brini ovo je sigurno pisao neki konobar...


TRAŽIM LJUDE, ŠTO VIŠE LJUDI,
KOJI IMAJU NEOGRANIČENU SPOSOBNOST UVJERENJA
DA NE POSTOJI NEŠTO ŠTO JE NEMOGUĆE UČINITI
(H. FORD).
pridruži nam se u bblj



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Nepročitano 16-05-10, 09:14   #6
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Citat:
Originally Posted by alison Pogledaj Post
Ne brini ovo je sigurno pisao neki konobar...




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Nepročitano 16-05-10, 09:19   #7
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Citat:
Originally Posted by fantazy Pogledaj Post
. Lav - arogantni, vječni podcjenjivači, puni velikih planova za sve koji na kraju koriste samo njima (kao da ih je i briga za druge).
Istaknuti Lav: Slobodan Milošević.
Nije baš tako... Mi mislimo na barem još jednu osobu, onu koju vidimo u ogledalu
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Nepročitano 16-05-10, 09:25   #8
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Citat:
Originally Posted by Ash Pogledaj Post
Nije baš tako... Mi mislimo na barem još jednu osobu, onu koju vidimo u ogledalu
Mama mi je lavica...i ovo boldano joj je najčešće opravdanje kad je pogodi istina




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Nepročitano 16-05-10, 09:38   #9
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Citat:
Originally Posted by fantazy Pogledaj Post
Mama mi je lavica...i ovo boldano joj je najčešće opravdanje kad je pogodi istina
Zanimljiv je taj antihoroskop Ja to nikada ne kažem kada me nešto pogodi, imam svoju uzrečicu. Ali veoma je slična ovoj boldanoj
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Nepročitano 16-05-10, 09:42   #10
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Citat:
Originally Posted by Ash Pogledaj Post
Zanimljiv je taj antihoroskop Ja to nikada ne kažem kada me nešto pogodi, imam svoju uzrečicu. Ali veoma je slična ovoj boldanoj




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