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Upravo sam shvatila DA imam problem.... Znam kako je voljeti sebe ...

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Nepročitano 13-10-11, 09:31   #1
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Hi! Biti vjeran (ljubljenoj) osobi + voljeti sebe?

Upravo sam shvatila DA imam problem....

Znam kako je voljeti sebe iz dubine duše, ali kad volim partnera, često mi se dogodi da se sama sebe uhvatiM u nevjernosti u ljubavi prema sebi.... hoću reći da ponekad uviđam da mu se sama prepuštam da me "gazi" i onda žalim zbog toga, jer sam samu sebe prevarila - nisam djelovala prvenstveno iz ljubavi prema sebi...(neznam kako da tu svoju misao bolje opišem) vaša mišljenja???


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KOJI IMAJU NEOGRANIČENU SPOSOBNOST UVJERENJA
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(H. FORD).
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Nepročitano 13-10-11, 09:39   #2
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najkrače rečeno.... DALI JE MOGUĆE VOLJETI DVIJE OSOBE? LJUBLJENU I SEBE PARALELNO?


TRAŽIM LJUDE, ŠTO VIŠE LJUDI,
KOJI IMAJU NEOGRANIČENU SPOSOBNOST UVJERENJA
DA NE POSTOJI NEŠTO ŠTO JE NEMOGUĆE UČINITI
(H. FORD).
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Nepročitano 13-10-11, 09:48   #3
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Originally Posted by alison Pogledaj Post
najkrače rečeno.... DALI JE MOGUĆE VOLJETI DVIJE OSOBE? LJUBLJENU I SEBE PARALELNO?
Plašim se da ne znam odgovor...
razum ili srce mi govore da ne mogu voleti sebe i nekoge istovremeno, jer sebe stavljam tada u podređeni položaj u odnosu na onoga koga volim...
ali zaštita sebe, svojeg dostojanstva, ponosa i na kraju, sebe kao čoveka, i u odnosu na voljenu osobu, ipak je ograničena u određenoj meri. Kada me povredi voljena osoba, ja iako "volim" sebe, ne reagujem kako prema drugima, jer ja je volim, i tada volim sebe manje, nego kada je ne volim...
ne znam da li sam pogodio suštinu onoga što se očekuje, ali ima vremena, jako dobra tema, i može se puno reći. Od mene za sada toliko, ali ja čekam... i volim, uvek!

Moram dodati da ponekada reagujemo preemotivno u odnosu na voljenu osobu, i na povredu uzvraćamo mnogo snažnije, jer smo neočekivano povređeni od onoga koga volimo, a očekujemo ljubav.. i samo ljubav. još komplikovanija tema.

DALI JE MOGUĆE VOLJETI DVIJE OSOBE? LJUBLJENU I SEBE PARALELNO?
Da, ali to zavisi i od toga koliko i kako nas voli ta druga osoba, i koliko nam dopušta da u odnosu sa njom "ne moramo" da volimo sebe previše, jer nas ona svojom ljubavi nadopunjuje u našoj ljubavi prema sebi. Kratko: ako nas voljena osoba ne ponižava nikada, i ne uskraćuje nam maše lične potrebe i zadovoljstva, ne moramo se brinuti za sebe, i možemo lako voleti i sebe i voljenu osobu paralelno. Ima se mnogo toga reći.....

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Nepročitano 13-10-11, 09:56   #4
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Citat:
Originally Posted by Olio Pogledaj Post

Moram dodati da ponekada reagujemo preemotivno u odnosu na voljenu osobu, i na povredu uzvraćamo mnogo snažnije, jer smo neočekivano povređeni od onoga koga volimo, a očekujemo ljubav.. i samo ljubav. još komplikovanija tema.




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Nepročitano 13-10-11, 10:01   #5
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puno hvala na tvom preljepom razmišljanju Oli,


- situacija baš takva čekanje, ne volim čekanje - ja sam za akciju..... bez pauzi.. ako upotpunim to čekanje drugim aktivnostima samo se osječam još potrbitijom za osstvarivanje mojih čežnji....A....



(najbolje se osjećam kada si umislim "ma netreba mi niko i ništa...") + Pogledajte prošlost; Učinite sadašnjost; Promenite budućnost; Naučite da gledate, i to ćete moći... (onaj stari potpis...)

- ali nije li to tada odricanje od ljubavi koja ti pripada????? nisam li zaslužila osjećati se voljenom koliko i volim???


TRAŽIM LJUDE, ŠTO VIŠE LJUDI,
KOJI IMAJU NEOGRANIČENU SPOSOBNOST UVJERENJA
DA NE POSTOJI NEŠTO ŠTO JE NEMOGUĆE UČINITI
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Nepročitano 13-10-11, 10:02   #6
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zar ljubav ne treba da podrazumeva i POŠTOVANJE partnera, tj. samim tim i poštovanje njegovih želja i mišljenja?
da li, u stvari, želiš da znaš KOLIKO TOLERANTNI treba da budemo prema osobi koju volimo?
moj učitelj joge je jednom izjavio:"tolerancija nije ništa drugo, nego dozvoljavati drugima da vas maltretiraju"
smatram da tolerancija mora da postoji u određenoj meri, ipak živimo stvarajući odnose sa drugima.
ali, treba imati i granicu.


volim da volim



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Nepročitano 13-10-11, 10:06   #7
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Originally Posted by mighty mama Pogledaj Post
zar ljubav ne treba da podrazumeva i POŠTOVANJE partnera, tj. samim tim i poštovanje njegovih želja i mišljenja?
da li, u stvari, želiš da znaš KOLIKO TOLERANTNI treba da budemo prema osobi koju volimo?
moj učitelj joge je jednom izjavio:"tolerancija nije ništa drugo, nego dozvoljavati drugima da vas maltretiraju"
smatram da tolerancija mora da postoji u određenoj meri, ipak živimo stvarajući odnose sa drugima.
ali, treba imati i granicu.
Potaklo me je da je TOLERANCIJA preozbiljna tema, dovoljno ozbiljna da se otvori zasebno, pa neću ovde komentarisati izjavu: "tolerancija nije ništa drugo, nego dozvoljavati drugima da vas maltretiraju" Jer to je jako pogrešna ocena tolerancije.

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Nepročitano 13-10-11, 10:08   #8
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"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"


Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs

The Lord knows that this world is cruel
I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning lovin' somebody don't make them love you

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool

I sang your songs, I danced your dance
I gave your friends all a chance
But putting up with them
Wasn't worth never having you

Maybe you've been through this before
But it's my first time so please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you

I can't always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool

I keep playing your part
But it's not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I've had enough mystery
Keep building it up
Then shooting me down
But I'm already down

Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting

Well, if I was in your position
I'd put down all my ammunition
I'd wonder why'd it taken me so long

But Lord knows that I'm not you
And if I was, I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waitin' on love aint so easy to do

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool

No, I can't I always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool


TRAŽIM LJUDE, ŠTO VIŠE LJUDI,
KOJI IMAJU NEOGRANIČENU SPOSOBNOST UVJERENJA
DA NE POSTOJI NEŠTO ŠTO JE NEMOGUĆE UČINITI
(H. FORD).
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Nepročitano 13-10-11, 10:11   #9
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Citat:
Originally Posted by alison Pogledaj Post



"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"


Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs

The Lord knows that this world is cruel
I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning lovin' somebody don't make them love you

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool

I sang your songs, I danced your dance
I gave your friends all a chance
But putting up with them
Wasn't worth never having you

Maybe you've been through this before
But it's my first time so please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you

I can't always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool

I keep playing your part
But it's not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I've had enough mystery
Keep building it up
Then shooting me down
But I'm already down

Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting

Well, if I was in your position
I'd put down all my ammunition
I'd wonder why'd it taken me so long

But Lord knows that I'm not you
And if I was, I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waitin' on love aint so easy to do

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool

No, I can't I always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool

mislim da se svako od nas bar jednom u životu ovako osećao


volim da volim



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Nepročitano 13-10-11, 10:11   #10
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Citat:
Originally Posted by mighty mama Pogledaj Post
zar ljubav ne treba da podrazumeva i POŠTOVANJE partnera, tj. samim tim i poštovanje njegovih želja i mišljenja?
da li, u stvari, želiš da znaš KOLIKO TOLERANTNI treba da budemo prema osobi koju volimo?
moj učitelj joge je jednom izjavio:"tolerancija nije ništa drugo, nego dozvoljavati drugima da vas maltretiraju"
smatram da tolerancija mora da postoji u određenoj meri, ipak živimo stvarajući odnose sa drugima.
ali, treba imati i granicu.
Ja otprilike imam takvo mišljenje o kompromisu ali slažem se i za toleranciju.
Odnosno moje iskustvo u odnosima govor ida je kompromis vrlo blizak toletanciji (mada ne bi trebao biti jer po meni je tolerancija snošljivost bez tri točkice koje na žalost obično slijede). Primjetila sam naročito u odnosima da kompromis ide otprilike ovako.
Ajmo se dogovriti. Ja i dalje ostajem pri svom, ali evo biću tolerantan i pristati na kompromis. Nakon toga na žalost dolaze očekivanja, i mic po mic dođemo do ja sam popustio tamo zašto ti nećeš popustiti ovdje. I eto ti manipulacije, na koju pristaješ u ime ljubavi prema partneru.
Zar to nije jako jako jako pogrešno?
Gdje je tu onda sloboda? Gdje je tu volim te baš onakvog/onakvu kakav jesi?
Znam da je u svakodnevnim odnosima i zadatcima koje neminovno moramo zajedno obaviti vrlo teško ne zahtjevati, ne očekivati od partnera nešto, ali nije li tu onda upitna naša osobna samostalnost a ne partner?
Šta sam ja kod sebe primjetila što me prilično šokiralo.....Nisam u braku u vezi sam i radim, kuham ili perem suđe ili čitam ne bitno. Onda odlučim odmoriti malo i padne mi on na pamet, gledam na mobitel nije se javio i onda ide: ko zna šta radi, ne misli na mene bla bla bla. Dakle kada je meni dosadno očekujem da me zabaviš. A zamislite da vama to neko kaže? Pukli bi kao kokica.




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