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Nepročitano 18-08-15, 10:35   #11
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Sreo sam drugara koji je sada inspektor, sa devojkom je šetao. Zajedno su već nekoliko godina, i kako sredina nalaže, red je da se uzimaju i prave se deca.
Uvek se pozdravimo, iako smo imali profesionalnih razmirica nekoliko puta, ali ipak se znamo jako dugo, pre nego što je svako od nas otišao na svoju stranu.
Ali ne deluje mi srećno. Deluje mi kao neko ko je izgubio kontrolu nad ssvojim životom. Konci koje je držao više nisu u njegovim prstima.
Umesto njega mu govori verenica, on uglavnom samo potvrdno klima glavom. DRži je za ruku, ali se pita kako je držati nečiju drugu. Misli da nema izlaza, ona očekuje svadbu, buljuk dece, stan i idilu, njihove familije misle da je to normalno.
On ne misli. Ali je u živom pesku u koje su ga ubacila očekivanja okoline i ljudi koje ne misle o tvojoj sreći, nego o svojoj. Ljudi koji čak i crpe svoju sreću iz tvoje nesreće.
I oseća se zatvorenim, u četiri zida koji su tu gde god se on okrenuo., ali ne radi ništa iz straha da ne izneveri okolinu.
Zato bira da izneveri sebe. I ostane u svoja četiri zida.
I zato će se oko njega uvek širiti taj miris privida idiličnog života, a smrad će osećati samo on.
U njegova četiri zida. Gde će mu žena postati cimerka, a deca podstanari.
I voleo bih da mogu da mu to objasnim, ali ne mogu. Voleo bih da mu kažem da se ništa ne forsira, da zajebe očekivanja okoline, da radi stvari kad oseća da bi trebalo da ih uradi, i da zajebe strah od samoće i držanje dlana nekoga koga ne osećaš kao svoju polovinu.
Ruka će mu možda jedno vreme biti prazna, ali će biti slobodna da krene ka bilo kojoj drugoj. I jednom će naći onu pravu.
I onda zidovi padaju, a on vidi svet koji je krio sam od sebe, godinama.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKSipxv6Gys

Nemanja Cvijetić, o zidovima i samoobmanama.




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Nepročitano 18-08-15, 10:41   #12
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Mogu opet reći za sebe ... ja sam u jednom životnom periodu tu bila podijeljena (nije imalo nikakve veze s naučenim ili nametnutim društvenim konvencijama jer sam otkad za sebe znam totalno imuna na njih a i nitko me ni na što nije silio, nisam bila kondicionirana na taj način) ... no, srećom sam jako puno razmišljala, radila na sebi i na kraju shvatila da ne bih bila nikome dobra u ulozi žene i majke ... ni sebi ni djeci. Odnosno, ako bih bila dobra djeci i suprugu, onda ne bih sama bila sretna i obrnuto. A čemu trapljenje, čemu prisila na konvenciju ako u tome ne uživamo srcem i dušom?

Moja uloga je očigledno bila neka druga, iako ponekad sa čežnjom promatram sretne, složne i skladne obitelji, no i dalje sam svjesna da sam odabrala pravi put. Rješenje ponekad nije jednostavno i odluka je prokleto teška jer je "za sva vremena".
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Nepročitano 18-08-15, 13:09   #13
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Jedino kad bih voljela biti muško je za vrijeme poroda!
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Nepročitano 18-08-15, 14:54   #14
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Citat:
Originally Posted by Jesam Pogledaj Post
Mogu opet reći za sebe ... ja sam u jednom životnom periodu tu bila podijeljena (nije imalo nikakve veze s naučenim ili nametnutim društvenim konvencijama jer sam otkad za sebe znam totalno imuna na njih a i nitko me ni na što nije silio, nisam bila kondicionirana na taj način) ... no, srećom sam jako puno razmišljala, radila na sebi i na kraju shvatila da ne bih bila nikome dobra u ulozi žene i majke ... ni sebi ni djeci. Odnosno, ako bih bila dobra djeci i suprugu, onda ne bih sama bila sretna i obrnuto. A čemu trapljenje, čemu prisila na konvenciju ako u tome ne uživamo srcem i dušom?

Moja uloga je očigledno bila neka druga, iako ponekad sa čežnjom promatram sretne, složne i skladne obitelji, no i dalje sam svjesna da sam odabrala pravi put. Rješenje ponekad nije jednostavno i odluka je prokleto teška jer je "za sva vremena".
Mislim da bi ti bila dobra majka, jer se puno stvari mijenja nakon poroda i to ne možeš pojmiti niti jednom knjigom i tuđom riječi već vlastitim iskustvom.


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Nepročitano 18-08-15, 15:30   #15
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Citat:
Originally Posted by Adamina Pogledaj Post
Mislim da bi ti bila dobra majka, jer se puno stvari mijenja nakon poroda i to ne možeš pojmiti niti jednom knjigom i tuđom riječi već vlastitim iskustvom.
Moguće, ali upravo je tu problem u toj podvojenosti što u bih u tom slučaju ostala neostvarena na jednom drugom području koje mi je očigledno u ovom životu suđeno i to bi mene činilo nesretnom.

No, naravno - pitanje je što bi bilo kad bi bilo ... to nitko ne može znati.
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Nepročitano 18-08-15, 15:31   #16
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Citat:
Originally Posted by Jesam Pogledaj Post
Moguće, ali upravo je tu problem u toj podvojenosti što u bih u tom slučaju ostala neostvarena na jednom drugom području koje mi je očigledno u ovom životu suđeno i to bi mene činilo nesretnom.

No, naravno - pitanje je što bi bilo kad bi bilo ...
Sad ti je ionako gotovo... kolko sam shvatila.


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Nepročitano 18-08-15, 19:05   #17
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Citat:
Originally Posted by Adamina Pogledaj Post
Sad ti je ionako gotovo... kolko sam shvatila.
Naravno. Sad mi je lakše jer više nemam o čemu dvoumiti.
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Nepročitano 18-08-15, 23:14   #18
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Moguće da ovde vrijedi ona jing jang ,ni ovog previše ni ovog premalo ,zato i postoji svijet ,nemože nešto da postoji barem na materijalnom nivou a da nema ni ovog ni onog. Ostalo ,svako ima svoju priču kojoj je potrebna dobra neka vrsta psihoanalize ,zašto što i sl.
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