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Patnje roditeljske

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Šta kad vas dijete odbaci i potpuno ignoria jer mu niste ...

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Nepročitano 15-01-14, 08:18   #1
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Šta kad vas dijete odbaci i potpuno ignoria jer mu niste više po mjeri ,ne želi kontakt s vama,kao da nikad niste bili u njegovom životu?Pišite,pomozite mojoj prijateljici.....
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Nepročitano 15-01-14, 09:17   #2
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Citat:
Originally Posted by marnie Pogledaj Post
Šta kad vas dijete odbaci i potpuno ignoria jer mu niste više po mjeri ,ne želi kontakt s vama,kao da nikad niste bili u njegovom životu?Pišite,pomozite mojoj prijateljici.....
Nažalost - ovo nije ni približno dovoljno informacija temeljem kojih bi se dalo išta pametno napisati, osim toga da je svaka interakcija dvosmjerna i da se takav prekid sasvim sigurno nije desio bez razloga. Uvijek su obje strane odgovorne, a ponajviše ipak roditelj, jer bi on trebao biti "pametniji", zreliji, mudriji i osvješteniji od djeteta.

No, to svakako ne mora biti tako. Današnja djeca su često mnogo mudrija i osvještenija od roditelja.


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Nepročitano 15-01-14, 11:40   #3
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Da li je u pitanju dete u pubertetu ?
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Nepročitano 15-01-14, 13:06   #4
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Danas sam zapravo čitala priču(u večernjaku) o majci kojoj su oteli dijete,ona ga je tražila 17g.Pronašla ga je i čistila ulice da ga školuje,no on je ipak napušta.Ona je presretna što ga je pronašlana i dalje ga voli i učinila bi isto(slažem se),ali kako se može osjećati on.Voljela bi malo razviti diskusiju sa obje generacije jer vidim dosta nesretnih ljudi zbog sličnih situacija.Nekad je dobro nešto naučiti i iz tuđih iskustava!
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Nepročitano 15-01-14, 13:07   #5
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Danas sam zapravo čitala priču(u večernjaku) o majci kojoj su oteli dijete,ona ga je tražila 17g.Pronašla ga je i čistila ulice da ga školuje,no on je ipak napušta.Ona je presretna što ga je pronašlana i dalje ga voli i učinila bi isto(slažem se),ali kako se može osjećati on.Voljela bi malo razviti diskusiju sa obje generacije jer vidim dosta nesretnih ljudi zbog sličnih situacija.Nekad je dobro nešto naučiti i iz tuđih iskustava!

Zadnja promjena: Razlog: dvostruki post
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Nepročitano 15-01-14, 13:15   #6
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Sorry, dvostuki post,ne znam kako ,to mi se na ovom forumu već desilo.
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Nepročitano 15-01-14, 16:07   #7
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Citat:
Originally Posted by marnie Pogledaj Post
Danas sam zapravo čitala priču(u večernjaku) o majci kojoj su oteli dijete,ona ga je tražila 17g.Pronašla ga je i čistila ulice da ga školuje,no on je ipak napušta.Ona je presretna što ga je pronašlana i dalje ga voli i učinila bi isto(slažem se),ali kako se može osjećati on.Voljela bi malo razviti diskusiju sa obje generacije jer vidim dosta nesretnih ljudi zbog sličnih situacija.Nekad je dobro nešto naučiti i iz tuđih iskustava!
Znači našla ga je već kao odraslog čovjeka i onda ga je išla školovati? Nakon školovanje je imao koliko ... 25 godina i otišao je svojim putem? Pa što bi trebao - ostat s njom do smrti?

Roditelji nisu vlasnici svoje djece. Svi roditelji se na neki način žrtvuju da bi odgojili, othranili i postavili na noge svoju djecu. To je najodgovorniji posao na svijetu. Zahtijeva ogromnu količinu odgovornosti, svjesnosti, koncentracije, snage, fokusa, pažnje, ljubavi, vremena ...

No, svejedno koliko uložili, moraju biti svjesni da će ih kad-tad napustiti i otići nekim svojim putem kuda ih život nosi. Možda će se jednog dana i vratiti, ali ne vidim zbog čega bi bili u obvezi ostati uz roditelje.

I ptica gurne ptiće iz gnjezda kad im je vrijeme da polete.

Najbolje o ulozi roditelja govori Gibran u svom Proroku.

“Vaša djeca nisu vaša djeca. Ona dolaze kroz vas, ali ne od vas. I premda su s vama, ne pripadaju vama. Možete im dati svoju ljubav, ali ne i svoje misli, jer, oni imaju vlastite misli… ”

“Ako zaista nešto želiš, pusti to na slobodu, ako ti se vrati zauvijek je tvoje, ako ti se ne vrati – nikada nije ni bilo tvoje.”

Uloga roditelja bi trebala biti jedna od najnesebičnijih.

No, i prečesto smo svjedoci patologije u kojoj roditelj veže dijete za sebe iz straha da ne ostane sam, i učini ga doživotnim invalidom - oduzme mu priliku da ima vlastitu obitelj i život.

Sebičnost i ljubav su dijametralno suprotni pojmovi.


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Nepročitano 15-01-14, 16:14   #8
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Gibran o djeci ...

Vaša djeca nisu vaša djeca.
Ona su sinovi i kćeri čežnje života za samim sobom.
Ona dolaze kroz vas, ali ne od vas,
I premda su s vama, ne pripadaju vama.
Možete im dati svoju ljubav, ali ne i svoje misli,
Jer, ona imaju vlastite misli.
Možete okućiti njihova tijela, ali ne njihove duše,
Jer, njihove duše borave u kući od sutra, koju vi ne možete posjetiti, čak ni u svojim snima.
Možete se upinjati da budete kao oni, ali ne tražite od njih da budu poput vas.
Jer, život ne ide unatrag niti ostaje na prekjučer.
Vi ste lukovi s kojih su vaša djeca odapeta kao žive strijele.
Strijelac vidi metu na putu beskonačnosti, i On vas napinje svojom snagom da bi njegove strijele poletjele brzo i daleko.
Neka vaša napetost u Strijelčevoj ruci bude za sreću;
Jer, kao što On ljubi strijelu koja leti, isto tako ljubi i luk koji miruje.


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Nepročitano 15-01-14, 17:06   #9
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Davno sam čitala tu pjesmu,ali dobro je da je još mnogi pročitaju....Jesam,jako ste kategorični u odgovoru,očekivala sam da bi djeca bar trebala ostati u korektnoj vezi s roditeljima,ako ne i punoj poštovanja,a dijeca trebaju imati slobodu strijele bez ikakve zadrške,dapače,uvijek.
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Nepročitano 15-01-14, 18:32   #10
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Citat:
Originally Posted by marnie Pogledaj Post
Davno sam čitala tu pjesmu,ali dobro je da je još mnogi pročitaju....Jesam,jako ste kategorični u odgovoru,očekivala sam da bi djeca bar trebala ostati u korektnoj vezi s roditeljima,ako ne i punoj poštovanja,a dijeca trebaju imati slobodu strijele bez ikakve zadrške,dapače,uvijek.
Ako je u pitanju totalna i nepovratna netrpeljivost(sto imam slucaj u porodici) moguce da su pitanju karmicki ,nerazreseni odnosi, koji bi mogli da se razrese u novom ciklusu. Meni to tako izgleda u mom porodicnom slucaju a sta je kod vaseg slucaja, neznam, mozda bi pomorla regresija. pozz.


Mislim.....dakle nisam prisutna.



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