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Kako izaci na kraj sa 'teskim' ljudima?

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Sigurno smo se svi nekada u zivotu susreli ili se jos ...

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Nepročitano 28-05-15, 14:11   #1
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Zadani Kako izaci na kraj sa 'teskim' ljudima?

Sigurno smo se svi nekada u zivotu susreli ili se jos uvijek susrecemo i muku mucimo sa takvima.
Nije potrebno neko posebno pojasnjenje 'teskog' karaktera i mislim da svi znaju o cemu govorim.
U tu kategoriju spada vise vrsta karaktera, a svima im je zajednicka ta specificna crta- s njima covjek jako tesko izlazi 'na zelenu granu' i pronalazi zajednicki jezik.

Bilo da takve osobe imamo u obitelji ili na poslu, zanima me vase iskustvo. Kako vi izlazite na kraj sa takvima?
Sto trebamo imati na umu kad je tezak karakter u pitanju, kako rijesavati problem ukoliko se problem pojavi sa takvim osobama?
Kako zivjeti pored njih?
Sto kad su dio tvoje svakodnevice?


Da mi je bit plankton, pa da svitlin noću dok se oko mene kitovi koprcaju.



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Nepročitano 28-05-15, 14:16   #2
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Ja takve jednostavno zaobilazim. U velikom luku. Uvijek se može minimizirati interakcija s takvima.
Moja mašta u tom slučaju nema granica.

Moj mir mi je najvažniji na svijetu.

A ako baš nikako ne mogu izbjeći - onda se odmah postavim vrlo strogo i odlučno i dam do znanja da se sa mnom ne može manipulirati. Obično je to sasvim dovoljno jer će takav onda odabrati drugu žrtvu kojoj može cicati energiju, jer od mene nema koristi.


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Nepročitano 28-05-15, 14:20   #3
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Citat:
Originally Posted by Jesam Pogledaj Post
Ja takve jednostavno zaobilazim. U velikom luku. Uvijek se može minimizirati interakcija s takvima.
Moja mašta u tom slučaju nema granica.

Moj mir mi je najvažniji na svijetu.

a sto kad si primoran komunicirat sa takvim? Ako ti je, recimo k'o meni, sestra jako, jako teska osoba? Ili otac, majka?
Sef?


Da mi je bit plankton, pa da svitlin noću dok se oko mene kitovi koprcaju.



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Nepročitano 28-05-15, 16:11   #4
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Citat:
Originally Posted by qiqe Pogledaj Post
a sto kad si primoran komunicirat sa takvim? Ako ti je, recimo k'o meni, sestra jako, jako teska osoba? Ili otac, majka?
Sef?
Pa ovisi i o prirodi odnosa, s obitelji bi trebao iskreno porazgovarati. A sa šefom, jedino ako te nije strah za posao i misliš da ćeš lako naći drugi
S nedokazanim kolegama - ignore ili promjena pristupa, daj im svoju ljubav
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Nepročitano 28-05-15, 16:21   #5
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Citat:
Originally Posted by qiqe Pogledaj Post
a sto kad si primoran komunicirat sa takvim? Ako ti je, recimo k'o meni, sestra jako, jako teska osoba? Ili otac, majka?
Sef?
Teško mi je generalno reći, bez da imam više detalja. Ne znam u čemu je konkretni problem i da li ga je moguće riješiti (ovo "teška" osoba svakome znači nešto drugo).

Načelno - o kome god da se radi, ako ti krade energiju imaš samo dvije zdrave opcije:

a) maknuti se
b) promijeniti svoju percepciju i stav prema osobi

Ako možeš postići tu razinu duševnog mira i ravnoteže da te to ne dotiče niti iscrpljuje, onda ti je svejedno i neće te smarati niti opterećivati.


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Nepročitano 28-05-15, 17:05   #6
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Zadani

Kako izaći na kraj s teškim ljudima?
Poslati ih na dijetu...
Ili ih navući na tanak led...


...ako tvoj brod ne pristaje u luci ti doplivaj do njega...



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Nepročitano 28-05-15, 18:47   #7
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Zadani

Jako interesantna tema, koja me je podstakla da rečima iskažem ono što već dugo primenjujem, kako na forumu tako i u životu.

Evo kako ja izlazim sa njima na kraj , u situacijama kada ih je nemoguće izbeći:

Ne shvatam ništa lično. Svesna sam da je problem u njima, a ne u meni. Negativne osobe samo traže žrtvu na koju će "istresti" nezadovoljstvo, a ne želim da im utabam stazu za tako nešto.

Ne reagujem, bar ne na prve dve - tri lopte trudim se da ostanem hladna i ne dozvolim da me uznemiri njihovo ponašanje. Teški ljudi su vešti manipulatori i ukoliko se "upecamo" na njihovu igru, izgubićemo jer to je igra u kojoj oni diktiraju pravila. Ne pružam im zadovoljstvo da se osećaju kao pobednici, a ja poraženo i frustrirano - to i jeste njihov cilj i jedan oblik dominacije.

Trudim se da im oprostim, jer svako je duboko u sebi dobar čovek, međutim često se iz nezadovoljstva, neznanja ili nesvesno (prouzrokovane ko zna kakvim problemima ) izgovore teške reči koje umeju da zabole. Umesto da se naljutim na "teške" ljude, zapitam se koliko su zapravo nesrećni i nezadovoljni svojim životima. Zato se potrudim da razumem njihovo ponašanje i pronađem ono pozitivno, čak i da se za trenutak stavim u njihovu situaciju.

U situaciji da mi je neko jako važan, razgovarala bih do besvesti, samo da pronadjem uzrok takvog ponašanja...i rešimo ga zauvek.

A ako ne upali ništa od gore napisanog, a tolerancija ostane na tankim nitima, umem da raspalim svim silama i dalja kontrola je nemoguća


Budućnost pripada onima koji veruju u lepotu svojih snova!



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Nepročitano 28-05-15, 20:06   #8
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Kako izaći na kraj s teškim ljudima? Ignoriraj, možda nestanu. :D


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Nepročitano 28-05-15, 20:10   #9
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triba puno ljubavi i razumjevanja.... ili samo reci je u pravu si, je tako je, ma bravo, bas to, neslusan te,idi na wc i pusti vodu kad zavrsis... Hladno reci Ne kad zavrse i gotova diskusia.


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Nepročitano 28-05-15, 20:14   #10
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U mom slucaju radi se o sestri koja me sustavno psihicki, emocionalno i verbalno maltretira od malena. Oduvijek sam joj bila trn u oku, jednostavno me ne podnosi. ( najmladja sam, ona je 10 god. starija, sva roditeljska paznja bila je usmjerena na mene, bla bla)
Razumjem da vjerovatno ima traume jer se smatrala nedovoljno voljenom.

Godinama to ne prestaje. Uvijek sam mislila, pa valjda ce shvatit sa vremenom, bit ce starija, mudrija, da to ne moze tako. Sad ima 37 i nas odnos je gori nego ikad prije.

Sa njom ne vrijedi miran razgovor- o, ne! Izvrce svaku rijec. Sve smatra kao napad na sebe, sve interpretira napadacki, pogresno.
Hvata me na emocije, dovodi do stanja gdje ja puknem, i onda mi na kraju stvori osjecaj kao da sam ja za sve kriva, vjecito je neprijateljski nastrojena.
Sva sreca pa ne zivi tu. Da je tako, ne znam kako bi se ja snasla. Ja sam miroljubiva, i dosta osjetljiva. Ona zna da sam takva i manipulira sa mnom, dovodi me do ruba suza.

Zadnjih godina sam emotivno ojacala, ne dam da me gazi.
kad ne dam na sebe, kad joj napravim jedan energetski back of- nastane nered u kuci uraganskih razmjera.
Drama, plakanje, histerija.
Nakon toga po pola godine ne prica sa mnom. (ja se preporodim u tih pola godine).

Ne bi me to toliko mucilo, da nemam dvoje necaka, kojima ona manipulira i govori neistine o meni. Najgore sto ih nekad ne mogu ni vidjat niti cut na skype jer je ona ljuta na neki imaginaran problem.

Vrijedja me zbog sitnica, udara tako nisko ispod pojasa, njena sumorna negativnost je poprimila takve razmjere da se trenutno posvadjala i sa muzem i nasim bratom.

Ali ona je tako nesvjesna sebe.
Vjecito okrivljuje druge. Vjecito.

I sad smo imale golemu 'situaciju' i jednostavno ne mogu vise.
Vise se necu trudit niti pokusavat uspostavit normalan odnos jer neki odnosi karmicki su predodredjeni, a nju kao teret vise nemam namjeru nosit.

Sve sam pokusala-na lipo, na ruzno, strpljivo, trpeci, i ne ide. Ne ide i gotovo.


Da mi je bit plankton, pa da svitlin noću dok se oko mene kitovi koprcaju.



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